Helping Grandchildren with Homework When the Math Looks Nothing Like You Remember

You sit down at the kitchen table with your grandchild. They pull out their math worksheet. You glance at the problems and think, “What on earth is this?”

The numbers are familiar. But the methods? They look like a foreign language.

You are not alone. Millions of grandparents across the country have the same experience. The way schools teach math today is very different from what most of us learned decades ago. But that does not mean you cannot help. In fact, your support matters more than you might think.

Why Math Looks So Different Now

When we were in school, math was about memorizing steps. You learned a formula. You followed it. You got the answer. Simple.

Today, schools focus on something called “number sense.” Instead of just memorizing that 7 times 8 equals 56, students learn why it equals 56. They might break it into smaller pieces: 7 times 8 is the same as 7 times 5 plus 7 times 3.

This approach has a name. It is called Common Core math, and it started rolling out in most states around 2010. The goal is to help children understand numbers deeply so they can solve harder problems later on.

It can look strange at first. But the math itself has not changed. Two plus two still equals four. The path to get there just looks different.

You Do Not Need to Know the Method

Here is the good news: you do not need to learn every new method to be helpful.

Your grandchild’s teacher has already shown them the steps. What your grandchild often needs from you is not a math tutor. They need someone who:

Sits with them. Just being present helps a child focus.
Listens to their thinking. Ask them to explain the steps out loud.
Stays patient. Homework time can be stressful. A calm adult makes it easier.
Encourages effort. Praise the work, not just the right answer.

Research from the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics shows that children do better in math when they have supportive adults nearby, even if those adults do not fully understand the assignment.

What to Say When You Are Confused

It is perfectly fine to admit you do not know the method. In fact, honesty builds trust. Try phrases like:

“This is different from how I learned it. Can you show me your way?”
“Walk me through the steps your teacher showed you.”
“I am not sure about this method, but let’s figure it out together.”
“That is really interesting. Tell me more about how that works.”

When you ask your grandchild to explain, something powerful happens. Teaching a concept to someone else is one of the best ways to learn it. So by asking questions, you are actually helping them learn better.

A Quick Guide to Common Methods You Might See

You do not need to master these. But knowing what they are can help you feel less lost.

Number lines: Students plot numbers on a line and “hop” between them to add or subtract. For example, to solve 27 plus 15, they might hop from 27 to 30 (that is 3), then hop 10 more to 40, then hop 2 more to 42.

Arrays and area models: Multiplication problems get drawn as grids or boxes. To solve 13 times 4, a student might draw a box split into 10 times 4 and 3 times 4, then add the results (40 plus 12 equals 52).

Decomposing numbers: Breaking numbers into parts. Instead of 45 plus 38, a student might think: 45 plus 30 is 75, plus 8 is 83.

Regrouping (not borrowing): Subtraction still involves carrying numbers, but teachers call it “regrouping” now. The concept is the same. The language is just updated.

When Your Way and Their Way Clash

This is where things can get tricky. You might look at a problem and know exactly how to solve it using the method you learned in 1965. Your grandchild is struggling with a newer method. It is tempting to say, “Just do it this way.”

Try to resist that urge. Here is why:

If your grandchild uses a different method than what the teacher expects, they may get marked wrong, even if the answer is correct. Many teachers want to see the specific method practiced in class.

This can frustrate everyone. But think of it this way: your grandchild is learning a tool. Even if your tool works fine, they need to practice with the one their teacher assigned.

That said, there is nothing wrong with showing your method after they finish the assignment. You can say, “Here is how I was taught. It is a different way to get the same answer.” This shows them that math is flexible and that there are many paths to a solution.

Use Everyday Moments to Build Math Skills

Some of the best math learning happens outside of homework time. You can strengthen your grandchild’s number sense without a worksheet in sight:

Cooking together. “We need to double this recipe. How much flour is that?”
Shopping. “This costs $4.50 and we have a $1 coupon. What will we pay?”
Playing cards or board games. Games like cribbage, Yahtzee, and Monopoly are packed with math.
Counting and sorting. Younger children love sorting coins, buttons, or candy by size, color, or value.
Telling time. “How many minutes until lunch? How did you figure that out?”

These activities build the same skills that modern math programs teach. And they are a lot more fun than a worksheet.

Free Resources That Can Help

If you want to understand the methods better, several free websites explain them clearly:

Khan Academy (khanacademy.org): Free video lessons for every grade level. You can watch alongside your grandchild or on your own.
Zearn (zearn.org): A free math program used in many schools. It walks through problems step by step.
YouTube: Search for “Common Core math” plus the grade level. Many teachers post short, clear videos explaining each method.

You do not need to become an expert. Even watching one or two videos can help you feel more comfortable.

What If Your Grandchild Is Really Struggling?

Sometimes the issue goes beyond a confusing method. If your grandchild seems to struggle with math no matter what, here are some signs to watch for:

They avoid math homework or get very upset about it.
They have trouble with basic facts like addition and subtraction well past the expected age.
They mix up numbers frequently (writing 21 instead of 12, for example).
They cannot estimate or guess whether an answer makes sense.

If you notice these patterns, talk to their parents about it. The school may be able to test for learning differences like dyscalculia, which is similar to dyslexia but for numbers. Early support makes a big difference.

Your Presence Is the Real Gift

At the end of the day, the most powerful thing you can offer is your time and attention. Your grandchild may not remember the specific math problems you worked on together. But they will remember that you sat with them. They will remember that you cared enough to try.

Math methods will keep changing. New teaching styles will come and go. But a grandparent who shows up, stays patient, and says, “Let’s figure this out together,” will always be exactly what a child needs.

So the next time that worksheet looks like a puzzle, do not panic. Pull up a chair. Ask questions. And enjoy the time together. The math is just the excuse.

Reported by Thomas Barrett with additional research from the SeniorDaily editorial team. For corrections or updates, please contact us.