When Grandparents Become Parents Again: Resources and Support That Can Help

More than 2.4 million grandparents in the United States are raising their grandchildren. Some stepped in after a family crisis. Others took over when a parent could not provide safe care. Whatever the reason, these grandparents face a unique set of challenges, and they deserve real support.

If you are raising a grandchild, or know someone who is, this guide will walk you through the resources available to help.

Why More Grandparents Are Raising Grandchildren

The reasons vary from family to family. The most common causes include:

A parent struggling with addiction
The death or serious illness of a parent
Military deployment
Incarceration of a parent
Abuse or neglect in the home

In many cases, grandparents step in quickly, with little time to plan. One day you are the fun grandparent. The next, you are packing school lunches and helping with homework.

This sudden change can feel overwhelming. But you are not alone, and there is help available.

Legal Options You Should Know About

One of the first things to sort out is your legal standing. Without legal custody or guardianship, you may have trouble enrolling a grandchild in school, getting them medical care, or making other important decisions.

Here are the main legal options:

Informal caregiving. You care for the child without any court involvement. This works short-term but can cause problems with schools and doctors.
Power of attorney. A parent signs over temporary decision-making authority to you. This is simpler than going to court but has limits.
Legal guardianship. A court grants you the right to make decisions for the child. The parent may still have some rights.
Adoption. This gives you full parental rights. It also ends the birth parent’s legal rights.

Each option has pros and cons. A family law attorney can help you decide which path makes sense. Many legal aid organizations offer free help to grandparents in this situation.

Financial Help That May Be Available

Raising a child is expensive, and many grandparents live on fixed incomes. Here are some programs that may help:

Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF). This federal program provides cash assistance to families in need. Grandparents raising grandchildren may qualify even if they would not qualify on their own.
Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP). Formerly known as food stamps, this program helps cover grocery costs.
Medicaid and CHIP. These programs can provide health insurance for the grandchild, regardless of the grandparent’s income in many states.
Social Security benefits. If a grandchild’s parent is deceased or disabled, the child may be eligible for Social Security benefits.
Kinship care payments. Some states offer monthly payments to relatives raising children who would otherwise be in foster care.
School meal programs. Free and reduced-price lunch programs can help with daily food costs.

Contact your local Area Agency on Aging to find out which programs are available in your state. You can reach them by calling the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116.

Support Groups Make a Real Difference

One of the hardest parts of raising a grandchild is feeling isolated. Your friends may be enjoying retirement. Your daily life looks very different from theirs.

Support groups connect you with other grandparents who understand what you are going through. You can share advice, vent frustrations, and build friendships with people in similar situations.

Here are some places to find support groups:

AARP GrandFamilies. AARP offers a free online guide and can connect you with local resources.
Generations United. This national organization focuses on grandfamilies and offers a resource database.
Local churches and community centers. Many run informal support groups for grandparents raising grandchildren.
Facebook groups. Search for “grandparents raising grandchildren” to find active online communities.
Your local school district. Some districts have support programs for kinship families.

Even if you are not a “group person,” give it a try. Many grandparents say that connecting with others in the same boat was the single most helpful thing they did.

Taking Care of Your Own Health

Raising a young child takes energy. It can take a toll on your physical and mental health if you do not make time for yourself.

Here are some practical tips:

Keep your own doctor appointments. It is tempting to skip them when life gets busy. Do not.
Ask for help. Let family members, friends, or neighbors pitch in. You do not have to do everything alone.
Get enough sleep. Easier said than done with a toddler, but rest is not optional.
Watch for signs of depression. Feeling sad, hopeless, or exhausted all the time is not just “getting older.” Talk to your doctor.
Take breaks. Respite care programs can give you a few hours or even a weekend off. Your local Area Agency on Aging can help you find respite services.

You cannot take good care of a child if you are running on empty. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It is necessary.

Helping Grandchildren Deal with Their Feelings

Children in these situations often carry big emotions. They may feel confused, angry, sad, or guilty. They might act out in school or withdraw from friends.

Here is how you can help:

Be honest in age-appropriate ways. Children do better when they understand what is happening, even if the truth is hard.
Keep routines steady. Predictable schedules help children feel safe.
Do not speak badly about their parent. No matter how you feel, the child still loves their mom or dad.
Look into counseling. A therapist who works with children can help them process their feelings. Many schools offer free counseling services.
Show extra patience. Behavior problems are often a sign of stress. Respond with warmth, not punishment, whenever you can.

Children are resilient, especially when they have a stable, loving adult in their corner. That is exactly what you are giving them.

School and Education Resources

Getting a grandchild enrolled in school can be tricky without legal paperwork. Here are some tips:

Contact the school registrar early. Explain your situation and ask what documents they need.
Learn about the McKinney-Vento Act. This federal law protects the educational rights of children in unstable housing situations, including those living with relatives.
Ask about tutoring and after-school programs. Many schools offer free academic support.
Stay involved. Attend parent-teacher conferences and school events. Your presence matters.
Communicate with teachers. Let them know about the child’s living situation so they can offer extra support.

Where to Start

If you are feeling overwhelmed, start with one phone call. The Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116) can connect you with local services in your area. They can point you toward legal help, financial assistance, support groups, and more.

You can also visit these websites:

grandfamilies.org (Generations United)
aarp.org/grandfamilies (AARP)
childwelfare.gov (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services)

You stepped up when your grandchild needed you most. That took courage and love. Now let the right resources step up for you.

Reported by Patricia Gomez with additional research from the SeniorDaily editorial team. For corrections or updates, please contact us.

Topics in this story

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