My Doctor Stopped Listening When I Turned 70. I Am Not the Only One.

I am a retired physician. I spent 35 years in family medicine. I listened to patients. I took their concerns seriously. I ran tests when something did not add up. I treated the whole person, not just the chart.

Now I am 74, and I am on the other side of the exam table. And I can tell you this: something changes when your doctor sees your age before they see you.

The Moment I Noticed

It started small. I went in for a routine visit and mentioned that my knee had been bothering me for a few weeks. Not terrible pain, but a new kind of ache that felt different from anything I had before.

My doctor, a man I had seen for years, barely looked up from his computer. “Well, you are in your seventies,” he said. “Joints wear out. That is just part of aging.”

He did not examine my knee. He did not ask follow-up questions. He did not order imaging. He just told me I was old and moved on.

Now, I happen to know that “you are just getting older” is not a diagnosis. I spent decades in medicine. I know that a new symptom at any age deserves attention. But in that moment, sitting on the exam table in a paper gown, I felt dismissed.

I pushed back because I knew how. But most people do not.

This Happens Every Day

After that visit, I started talking to friends and family about their experiences. The stories poured out.

A 68-year-old woman told her doctor she was having trouble with her memory. He said, “That is normal at your age.” He did not screen her for anything. A year later, she was diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimer’s by a different doctor. A year of possible early treatment, lost.

A 75-year-old man told his doctor about chest tightness during walks. The doctor said it was probably just deconditioning. “You need to exercise more.” The man had a heart attack three months later.

A 71-year-old woman mentioned persistent fatigue. Her doctor adjusted her thyroid medication and sent her home. It took two more visits and her own insistence on blood work before they found the cancer.

These are not rare stories. They are common. And they point to a pattern that researchers have a name for: medical ageism.

What Medical Ageism Looks Like

Medical ageism is when a doctor’s assumptions about age replace their clinical judgment. It shows up in several ways:

Dismissing symptoms as “just aging.” Pain, fatigue, memory changes, and mood shifts get brushed aside instead of investigated.
Under-testing older patients. Doctors skip imaging, blood work, or referrals because they assume the findings will just show “normal aging.”
Under-treating conditions. Studies show that older patients receive less aggressive treatment for cancer, heart disease, and depression, even when they are otherwise healthy and could benefit.
Talking past the patient. Some doctors speak to the adult child in the room instead of the patient. They assume the older person cannot understand or make decisions.
Spending less time. Research shows that doctors spend less time with older patients during appointments. The visits are shorter. The conversations are more rushed.

This is not about individual bad doctors. Most physicians are good people who want to help. But medical training often reinforces the idea that aging is a disease in itself. When you are taught that decline is inevitable, you stop looking for treatable causes.

The Numbers Are Alarming

This is not just my opinion. The data backs it up.

A 2020 study from the National Poll on Healthy Aging found that one in five adults over 50 reported experiencing age-related discrimination in healthcare settings. One in five.

Another study published in the Journal of General Internal Medicine found that older patients were less likely to receive recommended preventive screenings. Not because they refused, but because their doctors did not offer them.

The World Health Organization has called ageism in healthcare a global problem. They found that ageist attitudes among healthcare providers lead to worse health outcomes, higher rates of depression, and earlier death.

Let me say that again: ageism in medicine can shorten your life.

Why Older Patients Stay Quiet

One of the saddest parts of this problem is how many older people accept it. They do not push back. They do not ask for a second opinion. They do not switch doctors.

Why? Because they have been taught to trust their doctor without question. Because they were raised in a time when you did not challenge authority figures. Because when your doctor says “it is just your age,” a small part of you believes it.

I hear this from friends all the time. “Maybe he is right. Maybe I am just getting old.” They accept pain that could be treated. They live with symptoms that have real causes. They lose quality of life because someone in a white coat told them this is how it is supposed to be.

That breaks my heart. Because I know from 35 years of practice that “old” does not mean “hopeless.” Aging brings changes, yes. But most of those changes can be managed, treated, or at least properly investigated.

What You Can Do

If you are an older adult dealing with a doctor who does not seem to listen, here is my advice:

Be direct. When your doctor dismisses a concern, say: “I would like you to investigate this further. This is new for me, and I want to understand what is causing it.” You have every right to ask.

Bring notes. Write down your symptoms before the appointment. Include when they started, how often they happen, and how they affect your daily life. Specific details are harder to dismiss.

Bring someone with you. A friend or family member can be a witness and an advocate. They can help you remember what was said and speak up if you feel unheard.

Ask for documentation. If your doctor refuses to run a test or make a referral, ask them to note the refusal in your medical record. This often changes their mind. Doctors do not like documenting that they declined to investigate a patient’s concern.

Get a second opinion. You are not locked in with one doctor. If you feel dismissed, find someone else. Look for geriatricians, doctors who specialize in older adults. They are trained to take age-related concerns seriously.

File a complaint if needed. If your care is truly inadequate, most hospitals and clinics have patient advocacy offices. Use them. Your feedback can change how doctors treat the next older patient.

What Doctors Need to Do

I am speaking to my fellow physicians now, retired or not.

We need to look at our own biases. Every doctor has them. The question is whether we let those biases guide our clinical decisions.

When an older patient tells you about a new symptom, treat it the way you would if a 40-year-old said the same thing. Investigate. Test. Refer. Do your job.

Stop saying “it is just your age” unless you have ruled out everything else. Age is a risk factor, not a diagnosis. It does not explain symptoms. It does not replace clinical reasoning.

And for the love of good medicine, look at your patient when they are talking. Put down the keyboard. Make eye contact. Listen. That alone would fix half the problem.

The Doctor I Want to Be Remembered As

I spent my career trying to listen to every patient who walked through my door. I was not perfect. I am sure there were times I rushed or made assumptions. But I tried.

Now that I am the patient, I understand something I could not fully grasp before. When your doctor listens, really listens, it changes everything. You feel seen. You feel respected. You feel like your life and your health still matter.

When your doctor does not listen, you feel invisible. And at 74, invisible is not something I am willing to accept.

None of us should be.

Dr. James Patterson is a retired family physician with 35 years of clinical experience. He writes about healthcare issues affecting older adults. For corrections or updates, please contact us.